I've been away for a while. Not in body, but in soul. I'm having difficulty getting my head to come back from Banff -- even though the universe has been hitting me big time, trying to get me back. But avoider that I am, I don't want to -- so I find I'm doing nothing much. At least it feels like nothing much. No word count on the latest epic, just digging and gouging at a novella, so that I can start building my reputation as a bankable writer. Back to short stories, sigh. Back to novellas, and trying one more time to make them something that everyone would want to read, not just the people working at the Elephant and Castle. (Thanks for that by the way, guys. Appreciated the input, and I'll keep 'em coming. Nice to know I'm keeping people reading. That's something, at least.)

And later...

I felt like the world opened up to me at that workshop. Does that sound a little over the top? I meant it that way. I received more good information than I've gotten in years -- and it has had me really examining the way I'm doing things. How cool is that? Determining whether or not I really meant it -- about being a writer that makes a decent living from writing, I mean. And what I need to do to get there. That is some groundshaking stuff to think about. It's a lot like my friend Sandra asking me "Are you serious this time?" when I told her I wanted to start writing again. Guess it was time to look at that question again.

And what I figured out is yes I am. But I have to start treating this a lot more like a business -- and what I mean by that is doing the things that will get me noticed, that will get me out of the slush pile. It's not just my novels -- it's establishing a name for myself through shorter work while I beat my novels into shape. (Sounds fundamental, but I honestly didn't think it was something I needed to do.) It's getting more people on my side, and finding the ones that will give me the "hard" advice -- read ego shredding here -- as opposed to just liking or even loving everything I write. It's not turning my work to pap for fear that someone gets offended. It's doing a good enough job of the story so that I can never be faulted or rejected for that. Maybe the subject matter, but never the way the story's put together. And I have a lot to learn in that regard, too. (sigh)

So, the new word count for Virago is 647. Yep, you read that right. 647. I have started again, with a plot outline I think I can actually live with, and a deeper understanding of all of my characters. So now, let's see where we go from here.

Oh, and the goal of this novel is to be something the instructor at Banff can't put down. And when he finishes the last page, he turns to me and says "Eileen, that is in excellent story," before he tells me I'm an excellent writer. That's what I want for this novel. Because if I do that, I've got a winner. The next one can have a more lofty goal. (And yahoo, I already have a couple of ideas.) Right now, this is lofty enough.